i hate my early twenties. i hope i still have some kind of access to this blog when i'm in my thirties, because when i try to look back on these years with fondness, i can read this and it will be more like a slap in the face than a caress. this time doesn't deserve to soften with time and then wax nostalgic.
the only thing i want to do is move on, and that seems to be the only thing i cant do. this morning i didn't want to wake up because i would have to start thinking again. i kept forcing myself to go back to sleep, because even though my dreams usually just end up being a reflection of waking turmoil, they are at least artistic. real life right now feels like fluorescent lighting and linoleum floors.
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