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Heather got married this weekend, and bless my black stony little heart I was the biggest mo-foing train wreck for the entire ceremony and various points in the reception. I don't know if its because she is my first big-deal friend to get married or what, but the second her mom rounded the corner I started getting a little misty, and when she came into full view I was just boo-hooing and wiping away soggy mascara and using my scarf as the world's most disgusting kleenex. Plus side? Both of her hot cousins John and Matt were there, and the one that I remembered from high school has somehow morphed into Brad Pitt over the past 6 years or so. Downside? He's married. Other plus side? The other hot cousin isn't. Other downside? I never spoke to either of them, except to say idiotically to John "Oh my god did you take that picture? It is SOOOOO pretty!" in reference to one of the display pictures next to the cake. Anyway, overall it was fun, then I got aids.

second favorite moment from along came polly

Claude: It is like zee story of zee hippo.

Reuben: I'm not familiar with that story.

Claude: Zee hippopotamus, he is not born going, 'cool bean, I am hippo.' No way Jose! So he tried to paint zee stripe on himself to be like zee, uh, zee zebra, but he fool no one. And zen he tried to put zee spot on his skin to be like zee leopard, but eveyone know he is a hippo. So, at certain point, he look to himself in zee mirror, an he just say, 'hey, I am a hippopotamus, and zere is nozing I can do about it.' And as soon as he accept zis, he live life happy. Happy as a hippo. You understand?"

Reuben: ...I'm gonna kill you!

first favorite moment from along came polly

quality is a bitch, but whatevs.

oh my effing god

i will be horrified by this picture for the entire day.

this never gets old