Also...

this was a nice, gross little moment I had on twitter today.

OMG BOYS

I was googling some of my big celeb crushes from the 90's earlier today.  JTT made the list, as well as Leo DiCaprio, Brad Renfro (WHO DIED and I totally forgot that he DIED WTF), and Devon Sawa.  Three of the four of those guys are on this sweet Tiger Beat cover that I found.  Honorable mention to Andrew Keegan, who is also on this cover and whose last name I did not have to look up in case you were wondering.

 

 

My mom would never buy me these magazines when I was that age, so I'll never know whether or not I could have gotten JTT to notice me WILL I MOM. 

 

But anyway, while I was doing this my mind started to segue into a special category of crushes that every girl has but doesn't spend much time talking about: Cartoon Crushes.  My first cartoon crush was Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid.  Even though he was pretty generic and I was 5, I knew him to be handsome in the vague way that little girls know a man is handsome.  My first of many many brunets.

 

Yowza.

 

Next came Captain Li Shang, from Mulan.  I can't be certain, but I think that this may have kicked off my thing for asian guys that I had for the next several years, and also my thing that I continue to have for non-white guys in general.  Shang was hot because he was asian, tall, buff, and knew karate really well, BUT there was also the added intrigue of him starting to crush on Mulan before he knew that she was a girl (kinky!).  Everyone I know who saw Mulan had a crush on Shang. 

 

 

"Let's get down to business!  To defeat...THE HUNS!  HYAHH!"

 

My final, and I believe most mature cartoon crush was Trent Lane.  You know, from Daria.  Trent was the perfect marriage of my two previous cartoon crushes and my newly blossoming cynicism.  He was part asian (or something), and the slacker OF MY DREAMS--the older brother that I never got to have a crush on because none of my friends really had hot older brothers.  All he did was hang out at his parents' house and sleep and practice his guitar and eat, and it was soooo hottttt.  And the best part about Trent is that I never had to watch him grow up into a balding slacker who still works at Ingles at 30 years old or whatever.  He will always be hot teenage Trent, and even though he's still teenage he will always be older than me. 

 

 

Me and Trent.  I mean Daria and Trent.

 

However, TWIST ENDING ARE YOU READY FOR THIS.  Someone, who cares who, did whatever that kind of art is where you take a cartoon and render it into a real person (is there a name for that?).  So yeah, here is what Trent would look like as a real dude. 

 

 

 

 

SWOON. SUH-WOON.  Definitely not asian, which I thought was weird since the cartoon definitely is a little bit (right? And so is Jane?), but wow.  Be still my 15-year-old heart.  









My first meme!

I made this meme today simply because it didn't already exist and that is ridiculous.  The best part of this for me is that when Emily and I were in elementary school my mom actually took us to a Ladysmith Black Mambazo concert at the Peace Center, after which she bought us a CD that we listened to non-stop for probably the next 6 months.  So when Mean Girls came out you can imagine our synchronized utterance of "holy. shit."

 

Monroe

I sat around in pjs (they were satin too) watching Marilyn Monroe movies today--I had never seen a single movie of hers before today, and the only thing I knew about her is that she killed herself and that people are all the time posting probably-fake inspirational quotes from her on facebook.  Oh, and assholes like Lindsay Lohan love to pretend they are like her, but that's not her fault.

Anyway today I learned the following today from watching The Seven Year Itch, Niagara, and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes:

1.  This picture?  Arguably one of the most famous MM photos of all time?  NEVER HAPPENED.  It never happened in the actual movie! What the fuck??  During the scene itself, she stands over the subway grate, and they show little snippet shots of her legs from mid-thigh down with the skirt being blown up from her calves, but this actual shot NEVER HAPPENED.  To be frank, my mind was kind of blown.

 

2.  That guy in the photo?  He's supposed to be 38.  HAHAHA.  Either that guy is late forties at the very inside, or we have taught men to take better care of themselves nowadays.  One way or another, that's one of the most rode-hard examples of 38 I have ever seen. 

 

3.  This dress??  Yowza.  Women don't look like this anymore.  Or more specifically, they aren't supplied with clothing that makes them look like this any more.   

 

 

 

4.  She was funny.  Like actually funny, and the whole acting cute/like an idiot was a big part of it.  I was very surprised.  I'd like to think that she was in on the joke, that she knew how ridiculous she acted, and that she thought it was funny that men liked it.

 

5.  Women are always like "Marilyn Monroe was a size 14!" and shit like that.  We have GOT to stop lying to ourselves about that.  Maybe, MAYBE she was like, a 50's size 12 at her biggest, back when everyone was very thin anyway, but in today's sizes?  I would say a 6, possibly even a 4.  Let's stop lying to ourselves about something that we can see with our own two eyes--pretending that MM was a size 14 won't make our fat asses any smaller. 

 

Um, well that's it so far, maybe I'll come back with some more after I watch Some Like It Hot. 

 

mo' money less problems (sorry biggie)

So I made the decision to withdraw a chunk of money from my 401K to help while in in school.  And even though I'm gonna lose a little bit of it via penalties, taxes etc blah blah boring, it feels REALLY good to be taking a large amount of money from MYSELF.  Not my parents.  Not the federal government.  Me.  I don't have to pay anyone back.  I'm looking forward to being able to do it more often in the future.