OMG BOYS

I was googling some of my big celeb crushes from the 90's earlier today.  JTT made the list, as well as Leo DiCaprio, Brad Renfro (WHO DIED and I totally forgot that he DIED WTF), and Devon Sawa.  Three of the four of those guys are on this sweet Tiger Beat cover that I found.  Honorable mention to Andrew Keegan, who is also on this cover and whose last name I did not have to look up in case you were wondering.

 

 

My mom would never buy me these magazines when I was that age, so I'll never know whether or not I could have gotten JTT to notice me WILL I MOM. 

 

But anyway, while I was doing this my mind started to segue into a special category of crushes that every girl has but doesn't spend much time talking about: Cartoon Crushes.  My first cartoon crush was Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid.  Even though he was pretty generic and I was 5, I knew him to be handsome in the vague way that little girls know a man is handsome.  My first of many many brunets.

 

Yowza.

 

Next came Captain Li Shang, from Mulan.  I can't be certain, but I think that this may have kicked off my thing for asian guys that I had for the next several years, and also my thing that I continue to have for non-white guys in general.  Shang was hot because he was asian, tall, buff, and knew karate really well, BUT there was also the added intrigue of him starting to crush on Mulan before he knew that she was a girl (kinky!).  Everyone I know who saw Mulan had a crush on Shang. 

 

 

"Let's get down to business!  To defeat...THE HUNS!  HYAHH!"

 

My final, and I believe most mature cartoon crush was Trent Lane.  You know, from Daria.  Trent was the perfect marriage of my two previous cartoon crushes and my newly blossoming cynicism.  He was part asian (or something), and the slacker OF MY DREAMS--the older brother that I never got to have a crush on because none of my friends really had hot older brothers.  All he did was hang out at his parents' house and sleep and practice his guitar and eat, and it was soooo hottttt.  And the best part about Trent is that I never had to watch him grow up into a balding slacker who still works at Ingles at 30 years old or whatever.  He will always be hot teenage Trent, and even though he's still teenage he will always be older than me. 

 

 

Me and Trent.  I mean Daria and Trent.

 

However, TWIST ENDING ARE YOU READY FOR THIS.  Someone, who cares who, did whatever that kind of art is where you take a cartoon and render it into a real person (is there a name for that?).  So yeah, here is what Trent would look like as a real dude. 

 

 

 

 

SWOON. SUH-WOON.  Definitely not asian, which I thought was weird since the cartoon definitely is a little bit (right? And so is Jane?), but wow.  Be still my 15-year-old heart.