The Katy Perry Cycle of Shame

I hate katy perry. Everything about her annoys me--her outfits are stupid, her makeup and costumes are hideous, theres even something about her face that is intensely irritating to me.

But every time she comes out with a new single, this is what happens:

1. I hear the song for the first time. I recognize her voice a few seconds in, i begin listening to the lyrics. As the song progresses, my insides begin to twist with revulsion. I swear nonsensically inside my head, because i am so annoyed that i cant even yell out loud. I think about the fact that jay clifford never made it big and she did, and despair not only for the future of music, but the future of our very world.

2. A few days later, the song plays again. I shudder, roll my eyes, and switch the station to alt portland. I feel self-satisfied.

3. A few days later, the song comes on again. I notice that the chorus has a catchy tune, and listen to it. I tell myself that its just the melody, the song is still totally stupid. I linger momentarily but switch the station after the second chorus, because its still stupid.

4. The song comes on again. Im in a good mood for some reason and tolerate it. I sort of dance in my seat. The lyrics are still dumb but its so catchy!

5. Im channel surfing and run across the song. Not only do i leave it on, i crank it and sing along because i know a lot of the lyrics now. Im embarassed because i realize that i am part of the problem. I am helping to feed the monster, and am no better than katy perry herself. I reflect on the fact that we even have the same name.

6. Katy Perry drops a new single. Its so fucking stupid.

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