the jitters

So the guy I first met approximately three weeks ago invited my parents and me to his show out on Folly Beach last night, and they went and met him. I'm not sure that I can adequately explain how nervous I was on way over, but when we walked in the door and he was wearing a hot pink feather boa gifted to him from a bachelorette party and singing some poppy song about smacking up bitches, I started cracking up and relaxed. He told me afterwards that he was vaguely mortified when we chose that moment to walk in, but I honestly would not have had it any other way.

This one is making me nervous because he hasn't let me down yet. We had a little hiccup the other day where he said that things were moving very quickly and he needed a day alone just to adjust some, but unlike the others that's exactly what it was--just a little time to clear his head. After that it was just back to business as usual, and suddenly he wanted to meet my mom and dad. You would think that this would make me relax more, but it is having exactly the opposite effect, because I am getting to the point where if it DOES suddenly fall apart I will be profoundly hurt (not to mention have a lot of explaining to do).

I know what I have to do. I have to stop thinking this way, because if I continue to expect the worst it will just end up a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have to stop telling myself that it is completely impossible that I may have actually found someone worth the risk. I have to let myself take a chance even if the results may be disasterous. Everything is risky--I could technically get electrocuted by my computer because I am typing on it while it is storming outside, but I'm still typing. That being said, I don't think I could be more scared if I were standing on the ledge of a fucking skyscraper.

My dad and I never gab about my relationships outright, but we were talking about it in very vague terms and he said "Most people you meet aren't worth the gunpowder it would take to shoot'em across the street, but when you meet the ones who are, you pretty much know it right away." I think he's right, but I would also really love to know where he gets this stuff.