everyone can suck it

I had an unfortunate realization at lunch today--I am not good with people. Obviously this is not exactly new news, but I realized it at a completely different level today. It started because I was in the cafeteria today at lunch time, and absolutely NO ONE in the entire place seemed capable of getting the fuck out of my way. It took me around 2 full minutes to travel a distance of 10 feet to grab a pre-made philly cheese steak, and once I finally got to the line the woman in front of me made a huge show out of counting out exact change from a bag of pennies that she pulled from her pocket. I thought I was going to lose it.

It's not that I'm bad with all people. In social situations I'm actually capable of being quite good with people. But in professional situations (you know, where it actually counts), I seem to always be around 3 nanoseconds away from strangling someone at any given time. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if I were going to stay in research and be holed up in a lab for the rest of my life, but the fact is I'm not. I am going to be interacting with and physically touching and listening to the problems of scores of people every day.

The only thing I can think of to remedy this situation is to build a reputation as a bad tempered but extremely capable colleague, and hopefully my biting-yet-witty remarks coupled with my full beard and use of a cane will help to excuse my behavior.

Oh wait, that's House. That would never ever happen in real life. I'm probably just going to have to get an attitude adjustment and quit acting like such a bratty little bitch.

I saw this picture on National Geographic today, and thought that it deserved posting somewhere.