Last night we went to the Cumberlands for New Years Eve/Their Last Concert Ever seeing as they are closing and we thought that it might be personally historic. I thought the ten dollar cover was a bit expensive for a place like that, but sacrifices must be made in order to cement your place in history (just ask Abe Lincoln or Jesus, I doubt they will disagree).
Anyhoo, I ordered a drink compliments of The Marj. It was pretty standard--rum and diet coke--so I was taken aback when, after the first sip, I felt like I was going to cough spasmodically and spew fire from my mouth like the hillbilly mouse taking pulls from his jug of moonshine in The Rescuers. The Rescuers? Anyone? Oh well, moving on...
So that was startling, but I realized that it might be a good thing since it would encourage me to nurse that one drink for the entire night, thus saving money, trips to the bathroom, and the slight discomfort of yelling "diet coke on the rocks!" over a sea of people with absolutely no sense of humor.
I realized quickly that since I had a negligible amount of alcohol in my system and was surrounded my drunk people I needed to find a way to entertain myself, so I started toasting people:
- "Here's to drinkin' beers, smearin' queers, and fishin' off piers!" (not mine, and not really that funny in a town with a gay population as high as that of Charleston, but I like to use it as much as possible)
- "Here's to the end of the Bush Administration!" (NOT very popular. I was surprised)
- "Here's to fake boobs!" (She had obviously fake boobs. Excuse me for living.)
- "Here's to yo momma!"
Then, to my sheer amazement, the girl at the bar turns to me with a stunned look on her face, laughed, and yelled "LA VIE BOHEEEEEEMME!!!" It was a fabulous moment.
Then the ball dropped and it was new year and we all went home. The end.
1 comment:
the 'here's to fake boobs' one almost made me die. that is so funny.
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